Testimonial– Jessica
First, I have always been horse-obsessed. These majestic creatures have always been the best escape and therapy for me. When I was seven my parents divorced and sent me to riding lessons. These continued for a couple of years, and only fueled my passion. As a teenager, I had the ability to own my first horse. He was a giant, 17.2 hh bay, thoroughbred gelding. I was the only one that could ride him without a fight. His actions earned him the name “Q”, after the mischievous Star Trek character. Q listened when nobody else would. He wiped my tears away with his muzzle. He gave me another world to escape to when it felt mine was crumbling.
When I joined the Army as my 18th birthday present to myself I had no idea what I was doing. My experience was less than optimal, with one first sergeant telling me that “women did not belong in his Army”, being told to organize things for the leadership because they needed a “woman’s touch”, and dealing with a trial that was the result of what is now known as MST (military sexual trauma).
Though all of these horrific events I still had hope. There were fantastic times in the Army too. I met a lot of good people, learned some essential life lessons, gained a better sense of self, and matured a bit. Meeting the love of my life, who I have been married to for 20+ years was courtesy of the Army, as we were both soldiers when we met.
Multiple deployments, school, raising two boys, and other life events created chaos. Fortunately, I had family nearby with horses that I could ride and enjoy the company of. One such steed was an American Warmblood named Remington. He had more woah than go, but was incredibly empathetic and a fantastic companion.
Fast forward to my life now and I am the mother of a soldier, wife of a retired soldier, and a veteran. When I found myself in a job that made me so miserable that it manifested in physical ways, I turned to my recently gained horse. This time, instead of the tall, dark, and handsome thoroughbred I had always loved, I had a 17 year old short, flea bitten grey Polish Arabian, Humvee, that had enough sass for an entire herd. Working with him has helped me realize what I missed over the years since I had my own horse. He is a fantastic therapist, as long as I bring his payment of carrots and peppermints, and has come a long way with his training.
I have always wanted to be able to help reduce veteran suicide rates. Any loss of life is tragic. There were so many times during my service that I contemplated taking my own life. When a service member leaves their chosen branch of service, there is a significant loss of culture. You are no longer a part of something larger. You may or may not have a mission. Your military friends melt away slowly as their lives and careers progress. You are alone, and that is uncomfortable. Horses are much the same way. They need a herd. Together, horses and soldiers make the perfect “tribe”. What they can provide for each other is something that cannot be recreated. That is why I believe so strongly in our mission at Heroes and Angels Project.
