Testimonial– Reece
I joined the Army at 17 after being raised by a single mother. At the time, I felt it was my calling. To be perfectly honest, I did not know the first thing about how to be a man in the world today.
The Army provided me with direction, friends, examples of what I wanted to be like, and the ability to see other countries, even if it was while deployed. Unfortunately, after only a short time, I was forced into medical separation from the Army, with a wide range of physical and unseen (anxiety and PTSD) injuries.
I felt like I was thrown out of the military like a piece of trash and the civilian world felt alien. I had no identity, no “battle buddy”, stuck out like a sore thumb (with obvious military demeanor and appearance), was angry all the time, depressed, starting fights just to have an excuse to be violent, and I was simply lost… This loss of culture led to me hitting rock bottom. I ended up getting involved with drugs and almost overdosed on cocaine. That night in my mothers spare bedroom, I prayed to God, begging that I would not die behind a locked door in my mother’s house for her to find me. I promised God I would never touch coke again if He saved my life. It was by this grace that I survived, and never touched cocaine again.
Even with this miracle, I continued to self-medicate, drinking heavily and smoking weed to numb the pain and hope to ease my mental health. This went on for a couple years until I got to the point I was so miserable I concluded there was nothing in life worth living for any more. I decided I was going to commit suicide in my apartment. Right before I decided to go through with it I went through a mental checklist, trying to think of anything I had left to live for, coming up with nothing.
There was only one thing that I realized I would miss. Horses. I grew up cowboying and hadn’t owned a horse since before I enlisted. With no hope left, I did a Google search. After all, there could not possibly be any horses I could afford on my very limited budget. Then I found the website for Harmony Equine Centers (HEC), which is part of the Denver Dumb Friends League (DDFL).
Harmony is a horse rescue in Castle Rock, Colorado. I already knew what the perfect horse looked like. This mare would be a pure Arabian, tall, with bay, gray, or black coloration. I was convinced that absolutely no other horse would interest me. There was an available horse that met this vision exactly. Her name was Purdy. Taking this as a sign, I excitedly called the rescue and set up a date to meet this mare. When the meeting finally happened we didn’t seem to have the immediate connection I so desperately hoped for. Undeterred, I made plans to come back the next weekend to spend more time with her and see if we could bond before I committed to adopting her. Before that could happen, they told me about another horse they wanted me to look at saying, “he’s a half Arab…”. Before they could complete the sentence, I reminded them of my requirements: female and full Arabian. After much discussion, they convinced me to “humor them”, saying they thought we would fit together well.
He was tiny, half Arabian half American Quarter Horse, and a tri colored paint. Nothing that I was looking for. Something kept me listening. They told me a little about his story of abuse, saying that he was “a little nervous and skittish” and to not expect this horse to jump into my arms ready for all the love, hugs, and scratches I could give him. His name was Judge. When our eyes met he came right up to me and pulled me into his chest. It was at that moment that I knew this was the horse I was adopting. Humorously, the day before I was telling my family I’m a mare guy and that I would never own a gelding. Yet here I was starting the 3-week adoption process of this adorable little guy. I have not regretted it for a second.
Since Judge’s “Got You Day” (15 January 2021) we have been together every single day, rain or shine, hot or cold. I can confidently say Judge saved my life, and I saved his. He gave me a new identity that carried through into the world and society. He made me realize my true passion is in horse training and that I wanted to save veterans and horses alike by having them save each other, just like Judge and I did.
Judge is the reason that the Heroes and Angels Project is here today. This little horse turned a potentially negative statistic into a dream of hope. I am grateful that it has become a reality. Not just another nonprofit, this is a mission driven from the darkest of human emotions. Everyone needs someone.
Each of our team members have their own stories, just like this one, proving that the fundamental components of HaAP are our relationship, interaction, and our bond with horses that heals us. The capacity of a horse to heal a human soul is unlimited. This makes equine therapy highly successful. Horses expose both our strengths and weaknesses, that which we want to see and run from within ourselves. They make us whole. They help us build upon strengths to find greater self-confidence. As the famous horse trainer Buck Brannaman once said, “Horses are a mirror to your soul, sometimes you won’t like what you see, sometimes you will.”
